Almost everyone has some habit in their life that robs their
day-to-day life of a little (or a lot) of joy. We might have
a habit of showing up late, bottling up our emotions,
smoking, eating excessively, not eating enough, avoiding
exercise, drinking too much caffeine, spending too much time
on a computer, blaming others, getting angry quickly,
over-spending, not taking care of our selves, or many other
non-helping habits.
Over time the word “habit” often becomes synonymous with
“excuse.” We begin to feel that we can’t change an area
because it is a “habit,” and stereotypically habits are hard
to break. However, if we have the power to create a habit,
then we also have the power to un-create it. How do we know
if a habit needs to be broken? When it begins to negatively
impact our relationships, self-esteem, finances, career, or
any other area important to us, then a habit has become a
hurt. Let’s look at strategies that can help rid ourselves
of habits that hurt.
1. Clearly Define Your Habit and its Purpose: We don’t
create negative habits for fun and to purposely complicate
our lives. We create a habit because at the time of creation
it seems to serve a purpose in our lives. Typically, we then
outgrow the need for the behavior however we don’t
relinquish the habit. The first step in breaking a bad habit
is to clearly define what the habit is, when it started, and
how long we have been engaging in it. We can’t mange or
change what we don’t clearly understand, so get a working
definition of your habit on paper along with your thoughts
on why you created this habit in the first place.
2. Gather some basic background: Take a quick inventory of
the past 12 months. Answer the following questions:
How much time did you spend keeping up this habit?
How much did this habit cost you?
What did this habit prevent you from doing?
Answering these questions can help us see the reality of the
effect a particular habit has in our lives.
3. Fast Forward: As you conduct your habit analysis, imagine
what you days would be like if you were rid of this habit?
What would change? Write about how your life would be
different. Write as much as you can about the benefits of
changing your ways. Try to come up with at least 10 separate
reasons for change. The more you think through the benefits
(and write them down) the more solid the foundation you will
have when you begin to implement change.
4. Track Your Habit: Grab a notebook and for the next week
write down each time you engage in your habit. Note anything
that might be influencing you like your thoughts, those
around you, or how you felt physically or emotionally.
Conducting this habit-audit let’s us see exactly how our
habit is affecting us in our current day-to-day activities.
5. Make a Commitment: After you have completed the steps
above it is time to clearly define what you want to change
and how you want to change it. Make a detailed plan by
breaking down the steps you need to take. It would be a bit
unrealistic to say that in 4 weeks you don’t ever want to
overspend. Dramatic overhauls often lead to “slips and
relapses.” Try creating a multi-tiered plan for change. If
the habit was overspending, choose and define your new goal.
Then set milestones between where you are currently and
where you would like to be. If you routinely overspend $100
a week, you could reduce your spending by $20 every other
week, and in 2 months you would have a $20 spending budget
each week.
6. Think it Though: Before your start date, think through
the challenges you are likely to face. What might confuse
you? What might cause you to run from new change? What might
cause you to slip? Think of as many potential roadblocks as
you can write them down. On your own, or with the help of
others, brainstorm a solution for each of these roadblocks.
7. Tell Someone!: Once you have defined the change you want
to make and chosen the steps to make it, then it is time to
make a first commitment. On one piece of paper summarize the
change, the benefit, and your action plan. Choose a start
date. Tell someone what you are doing! None of us like to go
back on our word. If we don’t tell anyone about the change
we are contemplating it is easy to revamp and alter the plan
at any time. If we tell someone and ask that they help us be
accountable we are much more likely to succeed.
8. Begin! When your start date arrives, review your plan.
Daily review the reasons for change that you created in Step
3. Rely on your support person for help when needed. If you
find new roadblocks, add them to the list you created in
Step 6.
9. Don’t let a slip become a fall: Often we have a little
slip (or a big one) and that becomes a reason to abandon our
plan all-together. DON’T! Just because you slipped today
doesn’t mean you need slip tomorrow. Don’t let the shame of
one setback be a reason to abandon your plan. Instead, add
that as a roadblock and brainstorm a solution for the next
time you face that specific scenario. Take the day off and
then get back on track tomorrow!
Try it! What habit is holding you back? Use the strategies
above to create an action plan for change.